Our will orchestrates our music

My favorite definition of the word person is one who stands at the center of their thoughts and feelings knowing they belong to them. Seems sort of obvious that the thoughts and feelings running through my mind and body belong to me, but we often miss this fact because we assign their origin and reason for existence to other experiences; people, places and events outside of our self. By assigning the feeling or thought as the property of something else, we lose the power of control.

My second favorite definition of person is one who orchestrates awareness. The two definitions actually go together because I am only capable of orchestrating - that is conducting - awareness that I know belong to me. For something to belong to me, I need to own it as mine.

The heart of what is mine, what I use to 'conduct' or orchestrate my life is my will. In this regard I think of my will as the baton used by a conductor of a symphony orchestra. Baton is a stick used by a conductor to direct {control, guide, govern} an orchestra - an arrangement of elements.

Since will is defined as the faculty {power, ability, capacity} by which a person decides what to do: will is the power of effecting (causing) intention, it seems logical to me that in order to have my life be 'musical' rather than simply chaotic noise, I will need to use my will in order to decide which elements of life and self to engage. My will contains the power for creating my life.

Have you ever seen a conductor of a symphony standing on the dais before the incredible variety of musical instruments; the elements at their command for creating the music that is laying on the stand before them only as ink on paper? Whenever I see such a scene I am always struck by the powerful majesty of the conductor. I think the word 'majesty' comes to mind because it requires such a deep blend of knowledge, courage and confidence in order to take on the responsibility of being a conductor.

The responsibility of the conductor is not only in knowledge of the musical score but also what sound is available from the instruments arrayed before their eyes. This knowledge is then combined with an ability to know just when to point - engage - their baton to indicate what instrument or section of instruments is to be played. The conductor's choice of where to point the baton for engagement is critical for determining the sound - the music - that will manifest. So it is in our life: as we use our baton - our will - for choosing what parts of self we will engage and 'play', we determine the sound or music of life.

When we engage we involve or entangle our self with. When I 'chew' on a thought or feeling, I am engaging that part of myself. Whatever topics of conversation I choose to involve myself in become engagements of the self and will manifest the emotional content of my thinking inherent in the words and emotions used as I speak and listen. The activities I engage during my day: tasks, duties, responsibilities, either engaged passivity or active doing will all color my world in the emotional component I point my baton - my will - at while they are engaged. Am I resentful? Excited? Inspired? Grateful? Snarky? Helpful? Hostile? Open? Intrigued? The emotion I engage - use - will manifest as part of the experience.

Each of us creates the music of our world. The issue is whether we are creating the music intentionally by knowingly using our will or whether we have chosen a passive attitude toward life by either being afraid of our will: our power or by simply reacting to things as they happen to us. We do not have complete control over what thoughts enter our mind however, we do have control over which thoughts we will engage, entangle our self with. We do have the power to decide what we will add or delete from our thoughts. Sometimes our feelings and emotions come upon us so quickly we do not feel as though we have any power regarding them but science has shown that for a feeling or emotion to last longer than 20 or 30 seconds it must be engaged: left alone it will dissipate. When a feeling does not dissipate it is because how you have somehow engaged the feeling or emotion with your thinking. What is wonderful about this bit of knowledge is that knowing this fact gives you the power to determine the duration of emotions. Learning to use your will is the key to being a conductor of your life.

Unfortunately many, if not most of us, have been taught incredibly incorrect information about the use of will. Those of us who were raised Christian were taught from a very young age that it was the use of will - particularly a woman's will - that caused the downfall of humankind. The concept of 'will power' is almost always used negatively as the term refers to using your particular power to stop doing something. Will power is generally accepted as the power of the self we need to break bad habits and to stop destructive actions. From that viewpoint we are using our will power to overcome ourselves. And, if you are well into mid-life as I am, you most likely have your own stories of how the 'use of your will' created havoc in your life.

There are some people quite adept at the use of will power to accomplish what they want and so for them, the idea of will power is not necessarily negative. Yet there is a big difference between using one's will to conduct your awareness so as to manifest 'music' in life and using one's will to simply get what you want or to impose your will on others. The difference here is the energy used by the arm of the conductor.

A conductor is not simply using their position on the dais to fling their body and baton-holding- arm whichever way they desire. A responsible, a masterful conductor, does not use their power to create only the sound they want in the world. A masterful conductor is so deeply connected to the music to be manifested - both the wholeness of the sound and the individual components needed - that it is the energy of the wholeness of the musical score's vision that flows as the energy directing the arm holding the baton.

When we use our will simply to get what we want or to impose our will, then we are using the energy of our ego. Using the energy of the ego can be a bit confusing because sometimes when operating out of the ego we actually get a sound sort of like music. Other times, what comes out of the orchestra is simply a cacophony of noise. When we get into the habit of operating our baton - our will - with ego energy we really aren't quite sure what sound will appear and thus are often left defending our self and our 'music'. So, if using the energy of the ego for directing your baton isn't always the best choice, what is?

First of all it is important for me to inject here that being human, the ego will virtually always be involved since we need our ego to survive in the world. However part of being able to 'orchestrate awareness' as a person, is acquiring knowledge of your unique and personal ego and understand which are the healthy ego parts and which are the defended ego parts. When we discern this knowledge we are more easily able to actively choose to engage the healthy part and also to make the choice to use the defended parts as infrequently as we can: the less they are used the more quickly they lose power.

Earlier I said that unfortunately most of us have been taught to use our will to overcome and this is such an inaccurate, unfortunate use of such a magnificent tool. Our will has been given to us as a means to actively putting the goodness residing within ourselves out into life. Our goodness is exactly like the elements of orchestra arrayed before the conductor, it is the instruments we were given when we were sent here to earth and these instruments are needed to play your music. The instruments of self are your personality, your nature and temperament, your skills and abilities, your unique gifts and the desires, hopes and dreams that are evoked by each and all of those. It is each of our unique combination that has the capacity to create the music of life.

Like any conductor it is up to us to acquire knowledge of each element of our orchestra. Like any conductor it is up to us to acquire knowledge of how the elements are played and what they can do. Like any conductor it is up to us to 'feel' the possibilities available when the elements are combined. If we are to use our baton - our will - effectively we need to understand that it has been given to us so that we might add to the grand music of life. To do this we must be quite deliberate in what we engage.

If you want to have your life be part of the grand music of the Universe it is useful to spend some time each day listening to the music of the Universe. If my life is a 'flute' in the Universe's grand orchestra, it is not enough for me to only know flute music: I must know the wholeness of the sound. I need to have heard the entire symphony so I know where I fit and how my instrument can be played in order to add the best possible sound.

One means of acquiring the confidence needed to conduct - to use your baton - is to put aside a little bit of time each day - maybe only 10 minutes in the beginning - where all you do is absorb the goodness of the Grand Symphony of Creation. Just listen. The more frequently this is done, the more easily the energy of the great 'Oneness of All' is felt within yourself. The more frequently you spend time absorbing this energy of Grand Music the more your own Spirit becomes filled with that energy.

The more filled your Spirit is with the energy of the Cosmos the less you need to worry about using your will incorrectly. Just ask to be directed and then listen. The music is always playing and the symphony has been designed so that your part is essential to the wholeness.

In the beginning of this piece I said that a conductor always seems full of a powerful majesty containing knowledge, confidence and courage. Remember that that majestic conductor did not walk up the steps to their dais overnight. Lots of practice, intention, commitment and more practice go into becoming a majestic conductor. Knowledge is acquired from intentional commitment to continual learning and discovery. Confidence is acquired from intentional practice in using what you learn and experience. Courage is acquired because the desire to conduct arose from the heart. The courage to use your baton - your will -to conduct your life will come as you go deeper and deeper into the heart of yourself and life and discover the Great Well of Love residing at the very center. Drinking from this well on a daily basis is how one discovers the best energy for using their baton.